New Year’s Revolutions: Moving Around and Thinking Ahead
February 11, 2017
LandArt Gallery
March 6, 2017
Since removing ourselves from a perfectly comfortable life on California’s idyllic Central Coast, exchanging safety and security for a world of exotic uncertainties, we are continually being asked by other parents for advice on how to pull your kids out of school and travel the world like a band of vagabond gypsies. The e-mails aren’t worded exactly like that, but basically they’re hoping to learn from our mistakes. In fact, we haven’t made all that many, but we have learned a few things over the last ten months of our family odyssey.
If we can provide a little support or encouragement to other families looking to do anything remotely similar to what we’ve been up to, we’d be delighted to do so. With that in mind, here are a few warnings, pointers and suggestions for your family’s up and coming extreme vacation.
1. Expect difficulties. Selling your house, leaving your job, and running away might sound like an easy road to carefree happiness. But parenthood is seldom carefree, and never easy. You can leave a lot of responsibilities behind, but not this one. Wherever you go, you will have to deal not only with the unfamiliar customs and surroundings of a foreign land, but the consistently unpredictable behavior of your unruly offspring, and the need to keep them feeling safe and secure in every strange, new setting. There will be times when you don’t quite know what to do, and there will be times when none of you is having a good time. But these times will pass, leaving you stronger and wiser than before.
2. Maintain boundaries. Traveling can put you in a state of confusion and disorder. That’s part of the excitement. But breaking from the daily routine does not mean abandoning all your steadfast rules for a life of lawless anarchy, although your kids might think it does. So make things clear. We had to regularly remind our little ones of the various iron clad rules that would remain the same, even while everything else was in flux. They also had to learn that every household—we’ve stayed in about ten now—has its own set of standards. And we as guests are obliged to follow those rules, even when they differ from our own expectations. In the process, we’ve learned to savor the subtle differences in house rules like fine wines, noting the distinctive nuances, as we drift from one way of life to another. We discovered along the way, however, that most family rules are pretty similar, in the same way that most human needs are basically universal.
3. Pack light. One of the new rules we’ve had to observe involves our personal cleanliness. We and the children must try extra hard to keep clean. We can’t change into fresh clean clothes twice a day and certainly shouldn’t expect mom to do laundry every day. Our entire wardrobe for the year has been reduced to four medium-sized suitcases, and there’s just no way around that. So bring only what is the most useful, versatile and durable. You might find yourself wearing the same outfit over and over again. For us, this hasn’t been such a problem. Most people who live on farms are fairly accustomed to the smell of barnyard animals, so our dirty laundry goes practically unnoticed. At the same time, you have to able able to bend the rules. We have two roller scooters squeezed into the back of our van (thanks to Opa Matthias!), and they have proved indispensable in helping our kids to survive long days in the city and cross-country distances through international airport terminals.
4. Find a way to travel cheap. Moving around with a family of four can get real expensive real fast. Tickets for trains and planes, meals out, shopping in foreign towns where you don’t know where to get the good deals on anything. If you’re traveling on an inexhaustible trust fund, your can disregard this paragraph and throw caution to the wind. But we’ve managed to make bargain hunting just another aspect of the adventure. We’ve had our share of not-so-gourmet lunches in the parking lots of discount grocery stores, but we also make a point to get a special meal out every once in while. You can’t seriously spend three months in France without going out for escargot and creme brulee at least once. But the biggest way we save is through work exchange. WWOOF is the best known network for “Willing Workers On Organic Farms”. Help-X is another popular website. But if you’ve been following us, you know we’ve been organizing our travels and accommodations with Work-Away. In exchange for about five hours of work a day, we get room and board in some of the most unlikely venues.
5. Patiently wait out the learning curve. The kids will figure it out, but it takes time. Like anything in life, there is an adjustment period, a time for getting used to the new way of doing things. And remember, you’re all learning together. You can’t constantly be telling your kids to pull it together and get with the program, because there will be days when even you are not entirely sure where you are or what the program is. Just don’t try to blame it on some one else when that happens. In some ways, you’ll discover, the children are actually far more adaptable than the parents. And as they adapt to more and more environments, their abilities to observe and discern will flourish.
6. Cut everybody a little slack. See item number 1. Everybody gets frustrated, lost, or confused, sometimes all at once. It’s easy to lose your patience, especially when your three-year-old can’t stop screaming or your seven-year-old won’t stop asking to watch another cartoon on the laptop. More often than not, it’s the little things, like being in a foreign grocery store and not being able to find a natural sulfate-free toothpaste or a simple can of refried black beans to make that burrito you’ve been craving for the last eight months. And spending 24 hours a day, month after month, in close quarters, with the same three or four people can be enough to drive anyone batty. Just be aware of that possibility and try to take preventive measures before a crisis strikes. Once in a while, we can all benefit from a step outside and few deep, thoughtful breaths.
7. Have a back-up plan. Routine is a necessary part of life. Some of us survive or thrive better than others without a regular schedule. Some of us flail helplessly when unanchored, without roots, with no place to really call home. An adventure like this rests on a wobbly foundation of new places, strange faces, and unfamiliar spaces. The possible reasons why the trip might not work out are too numerous to spell out. Not to say that the odds are against you. Far from it. Just don’t be blind to the possibility of failure, no matter how badly you want to add just one more foreign country to your itinerary. You might have to stop your travels and stay somewhere for a few weeks or a few months in order to regroup. You might even have to fly home and tell your boss you want your old job back. But whatever happens, there’s no reason you won’t land on your feet, with just a few more interesting stories to tell at the next neighborhood play date.
8. Last but not least, have fun. And more importantly, remember what that means for your kids. A 40-year-old’s idea of a good time in Barcelona is not the same as a six-year-old’s. Chances are they’d much rather spend an afternoon at a playground than standing on a crowded sidewalk admiring turn-of-the-century architecture. A game of hide-and-seek is likely going to be much more stimulating than a long and pensive examination of large canvas by El Greco. On the other hand, don’t be afraid to expose them to occasional small doses of high culture. It’s amazing how easily those little comments and morsels manage to penetrate their porous minds. In addition, our kids each have one backpack and matching carry-on case loaded with books, puzzles and games to maximize their fun, not to mention large portions of our van devoted to Lego and Play Mobile sets. Even so, the battle against boredom continues. We also have an iPad, loaded with games and diversions, entertaining and educational, but often as much a source of discord as amusement. Still, no matter what happens, never lose your sense of humor. Even in the worst international mishap, your good time and your family’s morale can be salvaged if only you can remember to laugh. And in the end, that’s one of the most important lessons you can ever give your children.
FURTHER READING: For more tips on traveling, WWOOFing and doing WorkAway with kids, check out these great articles.
1 Comment
Enjoyed the tips. Made a lot of sense to me, the mother of two grown children and grandmother of two almost grown teenagers (who I have taken on 8 Road Scholar trips, 4 camp outs with church members, and MANY other stateside trips.