Polymorphous Playgrounds: A Few of My Favorite Swings

When I backpacked alone across Europe many years ago, I made it my great ambition to find the continent’s best botanical garden and best tiramisu. It made for a most enriching and consistently rewarding adventure. One of our goals on this trip is to find the best playgrounds. Youngsters like ours are far less interested in the gardens, churches and museums of Europe than they are in just having a good time on a trampoline or a jungle gym. And we are far more preoccupied with preventing serial meltdowns than with admiring the subtle architectural nuances and grandiose art collections with which Europe abounds. All good things in all good time.

So we’ve already visited quite a number of playgrounds, and a handful of differences immediately came to our attention. As one often observes here, not everything is built with the primary goal of avoiding a potential lawsuit. It literally happens on a daily basis, walking past open construction sites, over bridges with little or no guard railings, along street car tracks in the middle of a pedestrian zone, that we hear ourselves say, “There’s another lawsuit waiting to happen!” (Strangest of all, people here don’t even use cases to protect their fragile cell phones. Serious risk takers.)

Sometimes, as with the layout of Strassenbahn (streetcar) tracks, the element of danger does seem unreasonably high, but the Europeans have learned to pay attention and look after themselves easily enough. In most cases however, the sense of freedom and personal responsibility is actually pretty refreshing, as in, “Hey, watch me lean all the way over this decomposing ledge and take a picture from the top of this 400-year old brick tower!”

But I’m still not sure where I stand on the issue of playground safety. I mean, I don’t want to step up and make myself the spokesman for reducing child safety features on monkey bars, but on the other hand, there’s some pretty fun looking stuff here that I’ve never seen on a California playground. It’s nothing outrageous, mind you. Some of the slides are just a bit steeper and faster, some of the climbing structures just a little more towering and wobbly, and some of the swings just slightly more likely to induce regurgitation.

A lot of what we like in their playgrounds is what I like to call German engineering, even if the play structure says it’s made in France. They have rides we don’t see back home and play things that twist and turn in unlikely directions. One playground has a water feature that requires one child to operate the pump while another child ten feet away directs the water as it flows from the spout. A quality we really appreciate here is the use of materials other than plastic, particularly wood, carved to look like a Hobbit’s den or Noah’s Ark or a menagerie of fauna. Of course, the wooden forms bring with them a heightened risk of splinters, so Yankees beware!

Something I’m not so thrilled about, throughout Germany and Europe in general, is the lack of public toilets. Yes, it’s a hassle when you’re out shopping and can’t find a bathroom, and sometimes you have to pay 50 cents to use a public water closet. But when you’re at the playground with your kids, and there’s not a toilet in sight, what’s a reasonable parent supposed to do? Well, let’s just say, if you’re playing catch, and your ball happens to land a little far afield, just make sure to be extra careful where you step when you go traipsing through the bushes to find it.

Another attraction we discovered last week, during a fierce rainstorm, was an indoor playground. Considering the hostile climate here, the indoor playgrounds are a must. It’s a little more expensive than a day at the park—17.50 euros (roughly $20) for me and both kids—but the variety of rides and toys was jaw dropping. Talk about a personal injury lawyer’s wonderland. It’s amazing I didn’t see more heads collide as throngs of children rushed in and out of mazes and bounce houses in a blind fury.

Among the advantages, bathrooms were easy to find and free to use. But best of all, thanks to some very recent legislation in Germany, there is no smoking indoors. It’s shocking to see how many cigarettes are smoked and tossed on the ground at every other playground we’ve been to. I hesitate to suggest installing ashtrays on playgrounds, but considering the profusion of ciggie butts piled up around every park bench, it might be a worthwhile idea.

Parents and grandparents are seen pushing their strollers and walking with their toddlers, and more often than not there’s a cigarette or two swinging just inches from the toddler’s face. Coming from California, this prevalence of tobacco seems so odious and distasteful. And today our daughter told us that she’s gotten used to it. It doesn’t bother her the way it did a week or two ago. What a relief to have children who are so adaptable.

I guess nobody notices it when they grow up surrounded by second-hand smoke, like the very air they breathe. But on the plus side, we are told that additional legislation to reduce smoking in public places is currently in the works. Furthermore, being less opposed to the widespread availability and consumption of beer, I’ve been rather pleased to discover that most of the beer gardens are conveniently attached to a playground. And so our research continues.

Read on: For more enchanting stories about our adventures in Germany, check out the following articles:

• The best of Thuringia
• Urban Germany: Well-oiled engine of the EU
• Turning leaves in the Fatherland
• Philosophizing in Weimar